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hsapiens
hsapiens
27 June 2008 @ 02:42 pm
That housing slump has been hitting, pardon the pun, home  
My brother is moving in with us on Sunday.

In the past year he lost his job in the mortgage industry, finalized his divorce (giving nearly everything he owned to the ex-, incl. the furniture, household, & kitchen stuff we bought him before they got married), apparently worked some deal for Volkswagen to sell off his car that hadn't worked in over a year but for which he couldn't afford repairs & insurance anyway to satisfy the last few months on his car note, worked in a laptop repair facility that was a modern day sweatshop before his ride to the building disappeared when his coworker got a new job, and has generally hit bottom.

He has had a rough year. Our first task after moving the paltry worldly goods he has left is to get him a job. One I can drive him to and pick him up from as Houston is NOT known for its mass transit system. *sigh*

Tonight and this Saturday I'll be cleaning out all the junk I have in the guest room. I have no idea where it will go; it's in there because I don't have anywhere else to put it. I suspect I'll miss tomorrow's Pride Parade for which I bought two expensive bleacher seats, damnit, because I'll still be working on it all. (I still have my bone collection in there from my days as a faunal analyst. I'm guessing at this point I could throw it away. I don't know anyone in need of a type collection who can come to get it before I move the brother in on Sunday morning. Good thing it's heavy trash on Tuesday.)

Our house is *small* and it already houses the two of us, the dog, Joe's business, Joe's recording studio, and the Flying Fish Sailors merchandise. I suspect everyone's stress levels will be running high for the next several months.
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[identity profile] la-directora.livejournal.com on June 27th, 2008 08:15 pm (UTC)
Wow. I'm so sorry you're dealing with all of that, and so sorry your brother is dealing with all of that. But good for you supporting him that way, even when you are aware of how stressful it's going to be.

By the way, it makes me SO MAD to hear that he had to give up things in the divorce that he had before he got married. When I got divorced, the reason I got as much as I did was because I was the one who BOUGHT most of it, and I had also put Carlos through the medical school that resulted in him having a good salary while I was just a grad student. But I tried to be VERY fair about making sure anything he had prior to our relationship or anything that was a gift given to him during our relationship - including the painting I had commissioned for him as a wedding gift that I REALLY wanted to keep - went with him.

My friend Robin, whom I think you've met, is working in transportation advocacy in Houston, on things like the light rail and making sure roads/highways are routed in ways that benefit people the most. I'll tell her to speed up the process as much as she can. :)
Mish[identity profile] hsapiens.livejournal.com on June 27th, 2008 08:23 pm (UTC)
Don't be too angry. I don't think he fought to keep anything. He had a job at the time of their divorce, she didn't, he loved her, she used him as a path to citizenship...I'm angry over the situation but it's because she used him. He let her have a lot of stuff that was technically his because he just wanted rid of her and didn't want to deal with emotions.

I find it terribly frustrating that when he finally moves out of our house it'll be like he graduated from high school all over again and we'll be starting him from scratch on dishes, iron, vacuum, etc. At the moment, though, it's mighty convenient because it means the sum total of his belongings will actually fit into our tiny guest room. I'm very happy to be saving the monthly cost of a storage room.

Go rail! I want rail so badly that I can taste it. I'm planning to urge The Bro to apply for office jobs in places along the existing rail. That way, I can drop him off at the rail on my way to work in the morning as that would be the most convenient option for me. *fingers crossed*
[identity profile] la-directora.livejournal.com on June 27th, 2008 08:31 pm (UTC)
According to this story on NPR, you are by far not alone in wanting rail. So if everyone who feels that way will VOTE on the issues and with their dollars, you might see good changes.

I'd love to see Houston have public transportation that matches the quality of other things I love about that city. Hell, if it did, I might consider living there if this NYC thing becomes too hard. :)
Mish[identity profile] hsapiens.livejournal.com on June 27th, 2008 11:54 pm (UTC)
I've seen some analysis by Chuck, as well, of voting patterns here in Houston that indicate - even prior to soaring gas prices - that there was at the very least no political price being paid by politicians who support rail on Richmond.

I've long believed that it's irrelevant to closely match rail to current working/living patterns. Like freeways, build it and they will come. I've ridden the rail to all of my jury duties and I've found that the formerly drug-riddled, high-crime area where apartments were dirt cheap when we were at Rice have been torn down and replaced with high end apartments and condos to serve the crush of medical center personnel. The rail is empty at the terminus, where I get on, becomes SRO between the apartments and the Med Center, and becomes sparesely populated by students and jurors towards its other terminus.
Ginger[personal profile] gentlyepigrams on June 27th, 2008 08:33 pm (UTC)
The stuff he can rebuy. Freedom is priceless.

I'm sorry he's going through all that and that you are too.
[identity profile] la-directora.livejournal.com on June 27th, 2008 09:16 pm (UTC)
Oh, word to that. I'm not saying he should have fought for it. I'm just frustrated for him that he went through a situation that ended up that way. But, yeah, sanity over stuff EVERY time.
Mish[identity profile] hsapiens.livejournal.com on June 28th, 2008 12:18 am (UTC)
I'm still livid that she apparently wanted him for his citizenship. She was here illegally apparently, he spent a lot of time and effort to get her legal after they married, and as soon as she had her status she moved on to her boyfriend whom she was actually in love with. *THAT* is what I'm most worked up over. I'm disappointed that what I tried to for my brother was completely undone -- and a mind fuck added -- by an unscrupulous person but I'll get my head back to the right place when it comes to mere physical possessions.

Until I realized the extent to which he just walked away, I had no qualms about his doing what he felt was necessary for his sanity. I will never say anything to him about it, of course, but I'm re-examining my opinions on the wisdom of earning the money for one's own basic supplies.
Mish[identity profile] hsapiens.livejournal.com on June 28th, 2008 12:09 am (UTC)
You're absolutely right and that has been my attitude -- especially since it was his choice and he was the one living with the consequences. Also, I had no idea that she essentially got anything and everything in their apartment.

However, as I'm realizing that she ended up with the computer I bought him, the dining room table & chairs, the dishes, the silverware, the pots & pans, the book shelves, the books, the DVDs...a HUGE number of things that I stretched my budget for over the years to buy for him. Now that I realize the depth of just how that sacrifice was for nothing I find it depressing.

I have learned a valuable lesson, though. I didn't want him to suffer the penury I did when I had no furniture at all, when I used my ironing board as my dining room table and my books sat in piles around the otherwise empty living room. I always resented my parents a little for cutting me loose without a lot of very basic items; I wanted better for him. Not that he'd have everything but he'd have at least some place to sit, to eat, and to sleep. Had he struggled more to acquire those items, he might well have tried for a more equitable division.

In the end, I'll be in perfect agreement with you again but for now, I need to pout and be unhappy. On the plus side, I don't have to find an extra $100/month to pay for a storage unit to hold all the stuff. I'm trying to make that happy piece of news count. :)
Ginger[personal profile] gentlyepigrams on June 28th, 2008 12:30 am (UTC)
He'll have a chance to learn that lesson now, looks like.

Getting divorced is depressing. Combining that with the sham marriage and the job troubles, I can imagine why it wasn't worth it for him to fight for his possessions. Poor guy.