hsapiens | That housing slump has been hitting, pardon the pun, home

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That housing slump has been hitting, pardon the pun, home

My brother is moving in with us on Sunday.

In the past year he lost his job in the mortgage industry, finalized his divorce (giving nearly everything he owned to the ex-, incl. the furniture, household, & kitchen stuff we bought him before they got married), apparently worked some deal for Volkswagen to sell off his car that hadn't worked in over a year but for which he couldn't afford repairs & insurance anyway to satisfy the last few months on his car note, worked in a laptop repair facility that was a modern day sweatshop before his ride to the building disappeared when his coworker got a new job, and has generally hit bottom.

He has had a rough year. Our first task after moving the paltry worldly goods he has left is to get him a job. One I can drive him to and pick him up from as Houston is NOT known for its mass transit system. *sigh*

Tonight and this Saturday I'll be cleaning out all the junk I have in the guest room. I have no idea where it will go; it's in there because I don't have anywhere else to put it. I suspect I'll miss tomorrow's Pride Parade for which I bought two expensive bleacher seats, damnit, because I'll still be working on it all. (I still have my bone collection in there from my days as a faunal analyst. I'm guessing at this point I could throw it away. I don't know anyone in need of a type collection who can come to get it before I move the brother in on Sunday morning. Good thing it's heavy trash on Tuesday.)

Our house is *small* and it already houses the two of us, the dog, Joe's business, Joe's recording studio, and the Flying Fish Sailors merchandise. I suspect everyone's stress levels will be running high for the next several months.

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I guess this would be a bad time to ask Joe if he wants to take possession of about 8 boxes of Flying Fish Sailors cassettes ....

*runs away*

We could trade them to you for the cases and cases of CDs. :)

don't do it. You might eventually sell the CDs

True, but since we know there's no hope of selling cassettes, I could more easily convince Joe to "lose" them. ;) CDs still sell on Amazon and at gigs.

Also, maybe we could remove the tapes from the cassette housings and weave them into a rain-proof structure. Then we could put in the backyard like a tent and store some of our extra crap out there. Cassettes might end up being useful.

*hugs*

Thank you. :) *hugs back*

Wow. I'm so sorry you're dealing with all of that, and so sorry your brother is dealing with all of that. But good for you supporting him that way, even when you are aware of how stressful it's going to be.

By the way, it makes me SO MAD to hear that he had to give up things in the divorce that he had before he got married. When I got divorced, the reason I got as much as I did was because I was the one who BOUGHT most of it, and I had also put Carlos through the medical school that resulted in him having a good salary while I was just a grad student. But I tried to be VERY fair about making sure anything he had prior to our relationship or anything that was a gift given to him during our relationship - including the painting I had commissioned for him as a wedding gift that I REALLY wanted to keep - went with him.

My friend Robin, whom I think you've met, is working in transportation advocacy in Houston, on things like the light rail and making sure roads/highways are routed in ways that benefit people the most. I'll tell her to speed up the process as much as she can. :)

Don't be too angry. I don't think he fought to keep anything. He had a job at the time of their divorce, she didn't, he loved her, she used him as a path to citizenship...I'm angry over the situation but it's because she used him. He let her have a lot of stuff that was technically his because he just wanted rid of her and didn't want to deal with emotions.

I find it terribly frustrating that when he finally moves out of our house it'll be like he graduated from high school all over again and we'll be starting him from scratch on dishes, iron, vacuum, etc. At the moment, though, it's mighty convenient because it means the sum total of his belongings will actually fit into our tiny guest room. I'm very happy to be saving the monthly cost of a storage room.

Go rail! I want rail so badly that I can taste it. I'm planning to urge The Bro to apply for office jobs in places along the existing rail. That way, I can drop him off at the rail on my way to work in the morning as that would be the most convenient option for me. *fingers crossed*

According to this story on NPR, you are by far not alone in wanting rail. So if everyone who feels that way will VOTE on the issues and with their dollars, you might see good changes.

I'd love to see Houston have public transportation that matches the quality of other things I love about that city. Hell, if it did, I might consider living there if this NYC thing becomes too hard. :)

I've seen some analysis by Chuck, as well, of voting patterns here in Houston that indicate - even prior to soaring gas prices - that there was at the very least no political price being paid by politicians who support rail on Richmond.

I've long believed that it's irrelevant to closely match rail to current working/living patterns. Like freeways, build it and they will come. I've ridden the rail to all of my jury duties and I've found that the formerly drug-riddled, high-crime area where apartments were dirt cheap when we were at Rice have been torn down and replaced with high end apartments and condos to serve the crush of medical center personnel. The rail is empty at the terminus, where I get on, becomes SRO between the apartments and the Med Center, and becomes sparesely populated by students and jurors towards its other terminus.

The stuff he can rebuy. Freedom is priceless.

I'm sorry he's going through all that and that you are too.

Oh, word to that. I'm not saying he should have fought for it. I'm just frustrated for him that he went through a situation that ended up that way. But, yeah, sanity over stuff EVERY time.

I'm still livid that she apparently wanted him for his citizenship. She was here illegally apparently, he spent a lot of time and effort to get her legal after they married, and as soon as she had her status she moved on to her boyfriend whom she was actually in love with. *THAT* is what I'm most worked up over. I'm disappointed that what I tried to for my brother was completely undone -- and a mind fuck added -- by an unscrupulous person but I'll get my head back to the right place when it comes to mere physical possessions.

Until I realized the extent to which he just walked away, I had no qualms about his doing what he felt was necessary for his sanity. I will never say anything to him about it, of course, but I'm re-examining my opinions on the wisdom of earning the money for one's own basic supplies.

You're absolutely right and that has been my attitude -- especially since it was his choice and he was the one living with the consequences. Also, I had no idea that she essentially got anything and everything in their apartment.

However, as I'm realizing that she ended up with the computer I bought him, the dining room table & chairs, the dishes, the silverware, the pots & pans, the book shelves, the books, the DVDs...a HUGE number of things that I stretched my budget for over the years to buy for him. Now that I realize the depth of just how that sacrifice was for nothing I find it depressing.

I have learned a valuable lesson, though. I didn't want him to suffer the penury I did when I had no furniture at all, when I used my ironing board as my dining room table and my books sat in piles around the otherwise empty living room. I always resented my parents a little for cutting me loose without a lot of very basic items; I wanted better for him. Not that he'd have everything but he'd have at least some place to sit, to eat, and to sleep. Had he struggled more to acquire those items, he might well have tried for a more equitable division.

In the end, I'll be in perfect agreement with you again but for now, I need to pout and be unhappy. On the plus side, I don't have to find an extra $100/month to pay for a storage unit to hold all the stuff. I'm trying to make that happy piece of news count. :)

He'll have a chance to learn that lesson now, looks like.

Getting divorced is depressing. Combining that with the sham marriage and the job troubles, I can imagine why it wasn't worth it for him to fight for his possessions. Poor guy.

I have some time this weekend if you could use a hand. I'm sorry your brother has had such a difficult year.

Thank you. *hugs* I'll keep you in mind but I think most of the work that needs to be dine is deciding how to handle the stuff I have in there. Some is easy, my pile of clothes to give away can, you know, actually be taken to the Goodwill collection center and given away. Other stuff, like tablecloths and household goods that we use but don't have another place to store is the part that stumps me. If this were a better time financially, I'd take the opportunity to dump the dining room furniture I hate and replace it with something that would hold the dishes *and* linens.

I'd offer storage space (it can go in the closet with stuff I'm keeping for demusetts), but I'm out of town and it sounds like you need what you're keeping.

So instead, a suggestion: Bed lifts. Little blocks to stick under the bed and give the room a bunch of storage space.
http://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/product.asp?order_num=-1&SKU=14039791 is one example. El cheapo.

Good luck!

That's so very kind of you! I *really* appreciate that. I think this is a good reason to give away a bunch of stuff that I can live without and probably should have dealt with years ago.

I'll be checking out those extenders, though, because I could pack linens into underbed storage bins and stow them under there. Thank you for the suggestion!

*hugs*

hang in there.

Thank you. :) I've survived far more dire straits so that helps me to keep this in perspective.

As the husband and I both work in the mortgage industry, I can definitely empathize. I'm hearing that the situation won't be geting any better for another couple years, at least.

Ouch! You know the pain, all right. He needs to change fields because he wasn't happy before he was laid off. This is perhaps the most painful way to make the change but I'm hoping it's a turning point in retrospect.

So sorry to hear. Just checked Deloitte's website, but it looks as though the current internal position in Houston is for an Administrative Assistant.

I'll continue to keep an eye out and if you or your bro sees something on Deloitte.com, I'd be happy to forward a resume.

Meanwhile, it looks as though the City of Houston is hiring Real Estate personnel, web design personnel, IT personnel, and library personnel. They're very frustrating to work with (the City), but maybe that will help.

Y'all are in my thoughts.

*HUGS* Where is Deloitte located? The brother didn't go to college so Admin Assistant, while it's a step backwards for him, is the sort of job he's at least qualified for and it's preferable to the sweatshop repair facility. The no-college is a killer barrier.

Thanks for the tip on the City of Houston. I'll add that to the list of ideas. My leading idea has been for him to apply for an assistant job at Rice. It's on the rail line, it's indoors, has benefits, and they offer an education benefit. Obviously, however, it's best to lots of good ideas and apply in as many good places as possible.

Thank you for those suggestions! :)

Deloitte's main office is downtown, currently in 3 Allen Center (Dallas and Clay, I think). They are moving to Heritage center, which I think was the Texaco building, sometime in the fall.

I woke up this morning thinking "I forgot to mention that Starbucks seems to offer benefits for 20 hours a week or more employees." So, now I'm posting.

I'm so sorry you are going through this and that your bro is, too. Let me know if I can help.

Edited 2008-06-28 14:59 (UTC)

Yikes. What a messy thing. It's good that he has you, though. :) Best of luck!

That's what family is for. :) I'm sure we'll survive. And we'll have adventures and annoyances -- and when I'm old and crapping my pants, he'll get me the deluxe room in the nursing home. *g*

LOL

Well, you're both lucky, then. My brother and I very much don't have that kind of relationship. :)

Yeah, we are. He was born when I was 13, so our relationship is a bit different than a normal sibling relationship. I'm sorry your brother doesn't know what a cool sister he has. What a dork.

** hugs **

~~ anti-stress cyber vibes coming to you ~~

**Hugs back**

Thank you. This will definitely be a challenge to my commitment to taking care of me. I made certain tonight to schedule my next two weeks of trainer workouts so I wouldn't slack off due to being too stressed.

Good for you for taking care of yourself... how are things working out so far?

Sounds generally unpleasant, but GOOD for you for helping your brother out. Poor guy needs some good karma, doesn't he?

*tries to aim karma your way*

In truth, I couldn't do anything other than to help him. I can't imagine letting him be homeless when I can help. It isn't anything noble; it just is. Noble would be having an emotional chance and choosing to do it despite not wanting to. This isn't something I had a choice about, you know?

The poor guy really does need some good karma. He's such a good hearted, loving person and he just didn't deserve all of the shit that has happened to him. :(

Actually, he could probably use Metro from your area to the Medical Center if he could find something there. Or downtown. Might want to focus there to start with. If nothing else, you could drive him to the train near Reliant, which would be better than some alternatives. ;-)

Good luck to him.

Yeah, the Med Center would be ideal. Medicine is a growth industry for the foreseeable future. He doesn't have the education or experience to get the better jobs, I don't think, so I was thinking that getting a job at Rice might be a good interim step. He would be paid okay, have good benefits, and best of all, be allowed to take a class a semester at no charge. He needs to get on an education track so that he can respond to market shifts in the future. Rice has a relationship with the Med Center and that could be a good foot in the door, I thought, perhaps.

However, there were some other good ideas posted in several comments and I think casting the widest possible net is the smartest course.

He could use some good luck; the poor guy has had nothing but bad luck of late.

Rice is an excellent employer. I know a few folks who've worked there.

Keep in mind that the Med Center is the largest employer in the city. They hire *everything* from janitors to IT people to lab grunts with high school diplomas (assuming here he's not a medical type ;-).

Good luck to him.

Oh dear. Sounds stressful. Good luck. Bless you, though, for taking care of family. It's the right thing to do.

It's the only thing to do, you know? He's hard a damned hard year and I'm hopeful that this will be a chance for him to regroup and start having some successes. *fingers crossed*

BTW, I totally adore that icon!

With your help, I'm sure he will. I love that icon too! I love the meerkats and besides, that icon is so totally me!

Belated as always, but sorry to hear about your brother's problems. Did he have a lawyer for any of this?

And I can't promise anything, but if you wanted to shoot me his resume, I can check our internal listings. It's probably mostly call center stuff, but you never know.

ditto the person above who encouraged checking metro routes. I listened for years to the people who claimed that Houston has "no" public transportation. When I actually bothered to look, I discovered convenient lines that stop within a short walk from my home and go to convenient places like the med center and the train, about as efficiently as I could drive those distances. And if you spotted your brother the $$ for a month-long unlimited ridership pass, he'd have a lot of independence. If he enrolls for classes somewhere he should definitely ask about getting a student pass for metro - used to be called a U-Pass but I think they've changed it's name now, it's a really great deal.

I'd think that where he is now, forced to become a kid again under the care of his big sister, the independence associated with a bus pass might be a big help.

Good luck to you and to your brother.

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That housing slump has been hitting, pardon the pun, home

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