Part of my enthusiasm is due solely to my finally taking the step of doing something about my personal needs. I kvetch and kick and whine but I'm intensely aware that exercise is good for nigh on anything that ails you, raises your mood, and doesn't have nasty side effects like liver damage, muscle spasms, or driving while asleep in the middle of the night. I have tried exercise programs many times, always gearing it towards activities I like. Nothing has stuck. I've never thought, "Yay! Time to work out!"

I am, however, a creature of habit. If I can make this a habit and mold my schedule around it, I'm far more likely to stick to it. I love to dance and that will always be a huge part of any exercise program I choose but I don't enjoy physical challenge for the sake of physical challenge. I'm not the sort who will climb the mountain because it's there, but I would try if there were a good book up there. In this one case, the end will have to justify the means. ;)

For as negative as I'm being, I *am* happy that I've overcome the hurdle that I've put in my path in the past. I'm going to make another attempt to get fit but this time around I'll have someone helping me when I get stuck. *That* excites me and makes me more hopeful about my success.

Good point about bringing my attitudes/feelings up with the trainer. I need to go for full disclosure if I'm going to get the most out of this experience. Amy has mentioned several times that she downloads podcasts to listen to while working out because that makes it more palatable. Once I feel comfortable that I know what I'm doing and can safely zone out, I plan to do the same. (Amy is very good at talking about what she does in a non-demanding way but which, in retrospect, I realize were gentle suggestions for how I could take better care of myself.)

I'm trying hard to be realistic about what will work. Yoga has become a habit and I no longer have to force myself to go. (Even when I love something, I have to force myself until it's a habit. I think it's part of my being an extreme introvert.) I want the gym to be the same way.

I haven't yet begun to have some dire physical problems like my mother has. My blood work always come back astoundingly healthy (except for that pesky thyroid thing *g*) and my bone density scan showed that I'm in good shape there, too. If there's one thing I've learned, maintenance is far easier and less painful than regaining ground is. That is a huge motivator for me. Perhaps fear isn't the most positive reason in the world but I'll take it until I manage to find joy in becoming healthier and more capable.