... my attitude...was probably furthering problems rather than helping solve them.

Yes! This is where I was going. I genuinely want for us to move forward, more aware of white privilege, and eventually create a place (whether it's fandom or the real world) where people of all races feel equally welcome. It's embarrassing to realize that while I wanted that, I was part of the problem.

I get those white-hot feminist rages, too. I'm incapable of being reasonable on some issues and that has made me all the more impressed when someone else can overcome that level of outrage to be rational and well-spoken. My inability to be reasonable never led me to question whether *I* was right. I've even used that exact same argument to try to change my mother's mind on minority social issues. The irony doesn't end, does it?