Various Life News

[hsapiens]

Last Sunday, I took the train downtown to see the better half's band play a showcase of talent nominated for "The Best of Houston" Music Awards. I arrived there late since Joe had to check out the venue first and make certain that the Dancing Marlin wasn't a seafood restaurant and the band finished early after having started early, but it was fun to see them play again.

On the way home on the train, a guy hit on me. It happens so rarely that it surprises me and I'm never sure how best to respond. When I was an angst-ridden teen, Mom assured me that boys weren't asking me out because I intimidated them (me?!?). Since then I've spent little time as a free agent and I suspect I don't send off "available" signals. I'm not outgoing and I suck at small talk. Anyway, it wasn't anything serious, I suspect the guy was bored and passing time but it it's always nice to hear that you're looking good and that someone wants to take you to coffee. Even if I was the only female in the train car.

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Someday, I'll have to post about how weird it is to have grown up mostly as an only child and yet still find myself at this advanced age the eldest of six. Six! To add some salt into the wound, I am the oldest and shortest. I joke that any other sibling I discover had better be Yoda. It's mostly a joke.

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My cousin, an Air Force pilot, has been named Aircraft Commander. I find this an ambiguous term but apparently it means she's in charge of her contingent of pilots and she's the youngest pilot to have been given this position of responsibility. She is made of awesome. I feel only a little guilty for hating her so much when I was a kid. I had a lot of years as the only grandchild and only niece in the family so I didn't greet her arrival as joyfully as I perhaps should have.

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Most exciting to me - 'cause it's all about me - is that today begins my vacation! WOOT! An entire week of owning my own time. We were planning to travel but forces outside my control have scuttled that plan. My mail yesterday brought me the surprise of a "Buy One, Get One Free" ticket to the Body Worlds Exhibit here in town that I've been dying to see. Er, no pun meant. Thank you, Friends of Pride, for that unexpected bonus!

And how am I kicking off my vacation? With a brand new episode of SG-1 tonight. The previews show lots of Ba'al so it could be really great. Or, yanno, it could suck.

Comments

[betacandy.livejournal.com]

Oooookay, more with the weirdness in common. I get the "intimidating" rap, too. But I'm strong and I don't take crap from people, so in our society, that probably is a terrifying thing for most men to come across (sadly).

How awesome about your cousin! I always wanted to be a pilot. Still plan on taking lessons someday when I find several thousand in the couch cushions. :-D

And VACATION! Party on, dude!

[hsapiens.livejournal.com]

I've been thinking about this whole intimidating line and I have to admit that the women my brother dates tend to annoy me with their child-like behaviors. Perhaps the fact that I refuse to infantilize myself is intimidating? I can't find myself too sorry to have avoided wasting time with men whose egos require my stupidity to prop them up. *shrug*

I am very proud for my cousin. Her father was a hot shot Navy pilot and she grew up wanting to be a pilot. I'm just so pleased for her that she's excelling in her dream. I know she works hard and it's just lovely to see her doing what she loves. Even if she was that annoying little brat for the first few years of her life. ;)

Vacation totally rocks.

[betacandy.livejournal.com]

I do actually think the *majority* of women who get dates easily act like they're 4. Considering we have the worst pedophilia rates of any industrialized nation, I find this disturbing as anything. It paints the average man as a predator. Certainly, women years ago were taught to infantilize themselves: bat the eyelashes, never raise your voice, etc. It's all highly submissive behavior, which raises the question: if men are REALLY dominant, why do we need to act submissive to attract them? Maybe because they're not so dominant after all.

I have a lot of female friends who have very decent husbands or boyfriends who accept them as they are. I have to be careful speculating about what it is in me men can't accept, or they think I'm implying they compromised themselves to score a guy. I don't think that: I just wonder if maybe the good guys are an exception, and you need far better luck than I have to find one. Or maybe spend a lot more time shopping for one, which I can't be bothered to do.

[hsapiens.livejournal.com]

I have no idea how many women engage in such behaviors. I can't imagine wanting to do it so it makes no sense to me. I utterly fail to grok this. Watching my brother's wife ask him to order for her, her inability to more than whisper to waiters, he eating off his plate while never touching hers...it all made me want to take her outside, shake her, and tell her to grow the fuck up.

I'm lucky to have Joe and I know it. Not because I refuse to be a little girl but because he's such a great man. I have no idea how I lucked into him - well, I do have SOME idea and it was the blabbermouth of one mrkamikaze to whom I am infinitely grateful - but I don't think it's necessarily something that's within me that makes me "deserve" him or that I've compromised myself to get him. Talking about the bizarre nature of common male/female mating patterns doesn't make me worry about my own foundations or worry that others think I've compromised. I think your luck just hasn't hit yet. That's entirely different.

I'm not expressing myself well. I think I need some food. And a nap. :) Ah, vacation.

[betacandy.livejournal.com]

No, I think we're agreeing: there are men out there who appreciate strong women, but the available ones are few and far between.

I wonder if your brother's wife really feels that helpless or whatever, or if that's what she was taught one has to appear in order not to scare a man off.

[hsapiens.livejournal.com]

(Report to fix glaring error)
I just assume that it's always an act because how in the world do you even get out of bed if you can't even look at a waiter and ask for a dish? I know part of the problem is a cultural clash; I've tutored recent Hispanic immigrants in English and we had to segregate the classes because the women wouldn't speak up so long as the men were present. Drove me batty.

Maybe I really am just terribly intimidating because I'm simply incapable of being any one but me.

[hsapiens.livejournal.com]

*sigh* repost

I shouldn't try to answer comments, play with Photoshop, and chat on IM all at the same time.

[betacandy.livejournal.com]

Oh, yeah. Here, you may not get dates easily if you don't bow down to the status quo, but in some cultures your options are far more limited.

I'm also incapable of being anyone but me. Even when I act submissive, people see right through it.